The first time I saw the campus in real life was the day I moved in. I read the guidebooks, I talked at length with advisors and current students (what’s up, Julie Radko?!) and knew it was where I belonged. And I was right. The moment I stepped out of the car, it felt like coming home. Waking up surrounded by such incomparable beauty was like living a dream I never knew I had. I genuinely loved going to class. No matter where I was, I was happy. I’d do my homework at the upper pond, I’d sit for hours in the quad and laugh with everyone. It was truly amazing.
I suffered a personal setback in 2001 (my sophomore year) and it was the start of a slippery slope from which I couldn’t get footing. I failed some classes, lost friends… and then I ended up on academic probabtion. I came back after Christmas and vowed to do better – and I did. My grades improved and I was more focused.
I struggled again my junior year. I was passing my classes and had finally found the major I loved. But personally, I struggled. I promised myself that come senior year, I’d focus on me. But senior year never came.
Due to financial constraints, I wasn’t able to come back my senior year. I worked two full time jobs and worked at the college to try to raise enough money to return. I never caught up.
All I ever dreamed of was getting my diploma from SVC. I always planned that I’d go back someday, and prove to myself that I could do it. I know now that my chance is gone, and I will never walk in my perfect graduation. I’d never wear the SVC colors and thank everyone who helped me finish. I’m saddened that it was money that kept me from completing my journey – because I was ready. I wanted to be able to say “I’m an official Alum.” But I’m not. I will always consider myself one, but the truth is that I never graduated. My heart is broken that I never will.
My professors, coaches, advisors, and friends all gave me the strength I have today. I will never forget you. Linda S.- you quite literally saved my life. Janet G.- you taught me to not be afraid to be who I wanted to be (though I didn’t finally learn my true self until I turned 30). Tom T- you gave me HEART. You showed me that a life of compassion is not weak – it’s fundamental. Scott K- you saw my potential. You went to bat for me. You are what gave me the drive to kick it into high gear and be ready for my senior year – and the world. Greg W- you gave me paint. And it became my therapy for the last 19 years.
I love you all with my whole heart. I am who I am today because of each of you who walked the hill with me. The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful – it all made me the woman I am proud to be today.
So though I will never have my SVC diploma, I will forever have all of you. And I’m so thankful for it.
-Tamara